One of the things I have observed around me through my life has been that the opinion and views of other people tend to have a very important impact on people’s happiness. Through time I have seen episodes where people spend their hard earned money on things they don’t need to impress the people around them or do things which they personally do not approve to get accepted by others. On today’s post I want to write a little bit about my views on this matter and why I believe people have such need for “external approval” and how you can learn to limit the power you give to others and understand that you’re effectively the only person responsible for your own happiness.

So why do we care so much ? Why is it that not having the latest cellphone can depress some people ? What makes my mom’s self esteem lower if she cannot transmit “success” to other people ? The answer is probably that we want others to view us like we “would like” to view ourselves. So if someone wants to feel successful then one of the easiest ways in which this is done is if others view that person as successful. How do you convey success ? Well, in our current modern world success is conveyed through luxury, money, power, etc, so having the latest car, the latest cellphone or the hottest guy/gal as your partner will make people think “this guy/girl is a winner” and this is the reason why people value the opinion of others so much, because in reality it makes up their opinion of themselves.

If others consider you unsuccessful, poor, ugly, etc, then you really think you are those things because there must be some reasons why these people consider you this way. If you don’t have a car then you’re unsuccessful ? If you don’t party every weekend you’re a loser ? In reality these concepts are all abstract and the actual reality is nothing more than what you actually think about yourself. If you think you are a loser, then you are a loser. If you think you are a winner, then you are a winner. If you buy things to appear as something to others then you should become aware that you are only fooling yourself and your steps should be going towards making you what you want yourself to be instead of trying to convey to others something you don’t really believe you are.

I believe that you should first think and build and opinion about yourself and then consider any criticism coming from others. Do anything you can do to make yourself what you want to be and do what makes you happy. Do not follow what others would want you to do and do not let your p depend on their opinion. Your happiness is your sole responsibility and it is built upon the meaning within your life. If your meaning is for everyone to think that you’re happy an that you’re successful, then in the end you will simply not be those things. If on the contrary you concentrate on working on your self-image before you worry about others then your outside will be a reflection of your inside and your confidence, success, happiness will be evident, without any need to attempt to communicate anything to others.